Friday, February 18, 2011

I find it very hard to have an orgasm...

Dear Anna,


Me and my partner have been together for a long time now and love each other dearly, but its not without its problems. Our sex life can be really exciting, however I find it very hard to have an orgasm, I have to start off with toys or by myself until I feel myself about to cum then tell my partner I’m ready so we can have sex where I orgasm however that doesn’t always work as my partner doesn’t last very long...He lasts for around 1-2 mins. I can see its getting to him because he complains that its too sensitive inside me and I feel sorry for him as I know he wants a longer sex session. We have tried having sex more than once a day so he cums a few times a day and it didn’t work.


Is there anything he can do to last longer? Is there anything I can do to have an orgasm with using toys? Also I really enjoy give and receiving oral sex but never do it anymore as he always says no, how can I make oral sex more appealing to him?..


Thanks, Cheryl


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Rabbit Vibrator Advice

Hi Anna,



We have been into the Butterfly Kisses sex shop in Mullingar as we needed to spice things up in the bedroom. I have been very ill and sex has been off the menu for the last few years, we have 'fumbled' my husband purchased a 'Rabbit Pearl Deluxe' from Butterfly Kisses, we have had a lot of fun and I have my interest back again BUT I found the vibe too big and the ears too pointy.



I have looked on your website www.butterflykisses.ie and in the Butterfly Kisses catalogue. The ones I think might help are 'Jessica Rabbit Slim', 'Eclipse Ultra 7 Beaver', 'Eclipse Ultra 7 Vibe', 'Femme Fatale Vibe'. They seem to have less pointy ears or seem to be a little smaller.



Help, we need advice as we don't want to keep buying ones that are not suitable. Indeed you might have other suggestions. We can visit the shop in Mullingar to view anything you might suggest.



Regards,



Amy


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Hi there Amy,



I’m glad to hear you have found your enthusiasm in the bedroom again. You seem to be doing exactly what I would suggest, browse the catalogue and site and you have a good idea of what you want and which toys would suit you.



I would also suggest that you visit the shop and take a good look at the toys on display. Have a feel of the textures used in the products, how flexible, hard, soft the rabbit ears are and check the settings - the more settings you have, the more versatile the toy can be so you can get it exactly to your liking.



Nicola (Store Owner) is very well versed on all the toys and is very easy to talk to so I suggest you have a chat with her too.



You say you find the Rabbit Pearl Deluxe too big and the ears too pointy. In this case the Eclipse Ultra 7 Vibe as you pointed out would be better suited in the ear department, but length and width would be just a small bit bigger, although this product pulsates, which adds an added sensation like a pulse, which is very popular. This is a best selling rabbit vibrator in Butterfly Kisses.



Have you considered something like the Rock Chick this is a very popular toy, not like your conventional vibrator, it is inserted vaginally and rests also on the clitoris and g-spot giving double stimulation. The toy is then rocked back and forth by yourself or your partner. This is something that I think might suit your request perfectly as it does not have pointy ears and it is slimmer than your regular vibrator. The bullet can be taken out and used separately in any way your imagination allows. The bullet is very powerful.



Other than that, there are slim line rabbit vibrators or separate clitoral stimulators that can be used alone or with a regular finger style vibrator.




As every woman is different it is hard to recommend one vibe that will suit everyone. You need to choose it yourself based on what you think of it when you visit the shop. I personally always buy waterproof toys that don’t have fiddly controls and have several settings or options.



Remember to always use lube and clean and store your toys as per manufacturer’s instructions. Always remove batteries before storing. Treat yourself to a new toy every now and then as like with all toys, a change is as good as a rest.



After a while you will have built up a good selection of goodies for various moods/occasions.



Again, I am delighted to hear you are trying to spice things up in the bedroom department; it’s always great to hear :-)



Happy shopping!



Love Anna xxx



Resident Sexologist at www.ButterflyKisses.ie



Difficulty Maintaining An Erection

Hi Anna,


I'm a young man (19 years old) who has difficulty obtaining and maintaining a full erection for any real period of time even without ejaculation, basically due to nerves... is there any tablets or lotions available in Butterfly Kisses, and what, in your opinion, whould be the the most effective products to help me obtain a "longer and stronger" erection?!


I look forward to your response and hope you can help me in some way.


Thank you.


Alan.


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Hi Alan,


I’m sorry to hear you are having this difficulty and let me assure you it is far more common than you might think.


Firstly, before even looking at herbal products, I suggest you have a deeper look at the reasons behind your “nerves”:


Think back to the first time this problem happened and how the girl responded – was she negative in any way that would make you so self conscious?


Have you had successful intercourse in the past or are you a virgin?


Are you with the same girl or are you attempting sex with various girls you don’t know all that well?


Does this problem happen at all when you masturbate?


What are you nervous about?


The answers to these questions should give you a clearer picture of what’s going on here and what exactly is causing your anxiety.


For any young man who isn’t very sexually experienced I would suggest being with someone you are very comfortable and relaxed with and take things slowly and progressively. Don’t ever use alcohol as a bit of Dutch courage as it actually does the opposite in this situation. Get yourself a good sex manual so that you are better informed about the workings of both the male and female body. It would be good for you to be aware of other ways of arousal other than genital contact. Having a good sex book will make you better informed and more confident with your new found knowledge.


There are balms available that give a heat sensation and also several herbal supplements are known as stimulants – Ultimate V Herbal Viagra being one of them. This product takes under an hour to work and is very effective and safe with no side effects. The effects can be noticed the next morning too, it is that effective.


There is also a product known as Prolong Plus Erection Cream if you prefer not to take any tablets. This is a Chinese formula with ginseng for an added boost. This cream allows you to last longer with stronger ejaculation. Just place a small amount on the head / tip of penis, leave it on for about 10 minutes and wash off.


So, take the pressure off yourself, start from scratch, get sex savvy, look at improving your confidence and start to enjoy being a young man.


Hope this helps.


Love Anna xxx


Resident Sexologist at www.ButterflyKisses.ie


First Sex Toy

Hi Anna,


I'm wondering can you help me, I don't know which sex toy to get, there are so many on the www.ButterflyKisses.ie website.


I live with parents so need a discreet one!!


You always give great advice so I can't wait for your reply.


Thanks.


Ruth.


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Hi Ruth,


Sex toys have come on in leaps and bounds in the past few years and there are ones to suit every occasion - even purse sized mini vibes that look like lipsticks!


There are several on the Butterfly Kisses website and in the Butterfly Kisses catalogue.


I suggest you visit the shop and have a chat with Nicola about which is the most silent. She can order one in for you if she doesn’t have it currently in stock - invest in a good one, get some lube and cleaning agent, some spare batteries and decide on it’s hiding place in your room and go enjoy.



Love Anna xxx


Resident Sexologist at www.ButterflyKisses.ie


Butterfly Kisses - Adult Boutique

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Anal Toy for Boyfriend

Hi Anna,

I was wondering do you have anything in Butterfly Kisses that I could 'toy' my boyfriend anally with?

Cheers,

Debs


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Hi Debs,


If your boyfriend is up for this then yep, sure there are several options.


If it’s his first time, I suggest some anal beads like the Silicone Beaded Matador which is also a cock ring too with a clitoral stimulator - this is a fun toy for couples who love anal play. The beads slip into the ass and can be pulled out one by one or all at once just before ejaculation for a really intense orgasm.


The other option is to buy a small to medium sized anal vibe, such as the Plugzzz Vibrating Butt Plug they come as either rigid or flexible and various sleeves like the Funky Seduction Sleeve can be added to change the sensation or increase the size as necessary.


There is also a male vibe which is designed to massage the prostate like the Naughty Boy though this takes a bit of practice so I wouldn’t suggest it for starters.


Use plenty of anal lube and be especially careful of hygiene, we have plenty of these products in store.


Have fun!



Love Anna xxx


Resident Sexologist at www.ButterflyKisses.ie

New Vibrator and Clit Toy

Hi Anna,


I want to buy myself a vibrator. I dont know which one though. I have had a rabbit vibrator before that I bought in Butterfly Kisses years ago but it was quiet big. I live with my parents so I want one which is discreet. I also want a clit toy as well. Never used one before. Which would be best?


Thanks,


Sharon


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Hi Sharon,


As we all come in different shapes and sizes, we sometimes have to try a few options with sex toys before we get one that fits “just right”.


There are several on the market that claim to be almost silent. Go for one with plenty of settings so you can vary the intensity to your liking.


We all need a few sex toys to hand as different toys suit different moods.


Get a smaller silicone vibe with soft flexible ears. As for clit toys, a small vibe can be used on it’s own on the clitoris.


The “Rock Chick” vibe comes with an inner tiny vibe that’s fantastic as a clit toy on its own.


There are loads of clit toys that can be worn throughout the day or remotely controlled so I guess it depends on what you’d like and what would suit your lifestyle. Personally I don’t like fiddly gimmicky toys and prefer good quality toys that “do what it says on the tin” so to speak.


Have a look on the www.ButterflyKisses.ie website and in the Butterfly Kisses catalogue and see what you think would suit your needs best.


To get the most from your toys, always wash and store them as per the manufacturer’s instructions.


Hope this helps.



Love Anna xxx


Resident Sexologist at www.ButterflyKisses.ie


Recommend a Rabbit Vibrator

Hi Anna,


I was wondering if you could recommend a good rabbit vibrator for me?


It's my first one!!


Thank you.


Julia


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Hi Julia,


Good on you for going for your first vibe.


Choose something flexible, not too big, no fiddly settings and made from good quality materials that conform to European standards.


I’d go for waterproof - toys are great in the bath when you’re nice and relaxed.


Have a look on the www.ButterflyKisses.ie website and visit the shop to see what is in store.


Nicola is very helpful and open chat about what’s available - she can easily order you in something if there a particular toy you need. She has a very varied range in the shop also.


Get some lube and cleaning agent and always remove the batteries before storing.


Nicola always double wraps things in plain brown paper so everything is very discreet.


Have fun!


Love Anna xxx


Resident Sexologist at www.ButterflyKisses.ie

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